Friday, March 30, 2012

Wear this Weekend: The Evolution of the See-through Pant

It's happened - the see-through pant has evolved.

Enter: the see-through skirt.

It's already hit the streets....
in purple, no less!
with shades and sequins...

it even pairs with the cropped sweater.

It's taken over the runways...
Missoni Spring 2012
The see-through pant's crazy aunt:
voted most likely to don fruit on her head a la chiquita banana.
Emilio Pucci Spring 2012
The see-through pant's quirky best friend...
... you know, the one who's cooler and much more worldly...
Lanvin Spring 2012
The see-through pant's sophisticated first cousin...
... who can probably steal your boyfriend...
Vera Wang Spring 2012
The see-through pant's popular big sister...
... serving as a friendly reminder that, no matter what I do, my thighs will always touch.


And it's about to hit your closet.
Behold: lovely iterations of see-through splendor just waiting to be worn by lovely ladies like yourselves.
  

1. Jil Sander Colorblock tulle dress (not available)

If you get nothing else from this post, at least remember this: 
working together, we can make opaque a thing of the past.

It's survival of the fittest, folks, so let your closet evolve this weekend.
Happy Friday.



Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Balloon Chic

I was doing some online shopping Internet research this week when I stumbled upon the Louise Gray Fall 2011 runway collection from last February.  Suddenly, it dawned on me: a year has come and gone and I am still in utter shock that Louise Gray's balloon trend has yet to take hold.  Exhibit A:
Yes, wearing a hat made entirely of balloons might be a risky choice; one that also might be slightly reminiscent of a 7-year-old's birthday party.  But who doesn't love birthday parties?? 
I can so see this in Times Square...
Images via Style.com
Balloon as clutch!  It's genius!  It says "I don't need earthly possessions, so I've decided to carry around air on my wrist."  What a statement.

I feel it is my personal duty to resurrect balloon chic one year past its prime.  Perhaps the public is ready to take on the trend of seasons past today.  So, naturally, I took balloon chic to the streets.
Behold!!
Yes, as you can possibly derive from the above photo, there were people around when this photoshoot transpired.  Some memorable quotables:

My roommate photographer: "Just walk behind me..."
Girl coming from gym: "Is it your birthday?"
Me: "Actually, no."
Roommate: "She's just weird..."
Roommate: "Oh wow, I didn't see your shoes... now you really look like a clown..."
... thanks.
Man on bike: whistle.
Me: see above
Three drunk men: "You must be going somewhere fancy in those green pants!"

(insert invitation to join them for drinks here)

It was 3 PM.
Same three drunk men: "Bring your balloons and your green pants!  And wear your stilts!!"
Me: "I'll think about it..."
Pants: Zara. Chambray top: GAP. Pink tube top: sample sale (sorry).
So, what do you think?  Is the world ready?
Necklace: impulse buy in Boston 5 years ago.
Thanks, mom, for not throwing this away.
Although this photoshoot did seem to elicit more snickers, laughs, and derogatory statements than are typical of the East Village, I still maintain that this is the next big thing.  Until then, I'm going to wear the above outfit sans balloons until the public proves they can handle my (clearly) advanced sense of style...

Note: a very special thanks to my roommate for taking these photos.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Musical Monday: McQueen's Menagerie

It's Musical Monday!  Cue music:

There's no doubt that the recent McQueen collection was genius.  Yes, that's a given, obviously... 

But I'd just like to take a moment to say what I'm sure most of you were thinking but not saying.

Because, well, that's what I do.

Ok, here goes: do you see the resemblance?
 
Brrrrr...
What?
And that's about all I have to say about that...

Happy Monday.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Wear this Weekend: A Lovely Band!

Thanks so much to everyone who entered last week's giveaway, and a special CONGRATS to the big winner,  MessyDirtyHair!!

So this weekend, be sure to check out Lovely Bands, your comrade in the fight against humidity this Spring; the surefire cure to a boring outfit; your one-way ticket to the land of boho chic.  Because even though you might not be a winner in my giveaway, that doesn't mean you can't be a winner in life.   
Now, have a GREAT weekend!  Don't do anything I would do...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Mid-Week Mid-spiration

As it is mid-week (Wednesday, that is), I've decided to take this time to explore a subtle mid-trend seen on the likes of Courtney from The Bachelor (among others): the mid-finger ring.

For those of you unfamiliar with the mid-finger ring, this is a ring that is worn in the middle of the finger.

I know.  It's a lot to wrap your head around...

I went out with a guy once who explained to me the meaning of wearing rings on different fingers (he also picked me up in a white van with tinted windows and a leopard print steering wheel cover, but let's not get bogged down in details).

He told me if you wear a ring on your index finger, it means you are a leader.  If you wear a ring on your middle finger, it means you have a sense for what is right and what is wrong.  Wearing a ring on your ring finger means you're married you are creative.  If you wear a ring on your thumb, it means that you are assertive, and sometimes forceful.  Wearing a ring on your pinky finger means you either have strong communication skills, or are possibly a member of the mob.

As it turns out, I was wearing a ring on every finger.

So... what does that say about me?

And what is the meaning of wearing rings mid-finger?  I have no idea.  But they look really cool.
Let's explore...
Chunky mid-finger rings... mean you have large hands.
Mid-finger only rings... mean your fingers have gotten fat and your rings no longer fit.
Mid-finger rings worn on the middle finger: I think this means that you have a sense for what is right and wrong.  But only half-way.

Yep, sounds about right!
Doubled up mid-finger rings... mean you don't have enough fingers.
Up-side-down mid-finger rings!  Mean you want others to be able to appreciate your unparalleled style.
I just really like this nail polish...
And this nail polish...
Multiple rings on multiple fingers?  I think this means you have too many rings.  Maybe you should send some my way!  I'd be happy to take some of those off your hands (ha) for ya!

Now, watch as I attempt to rock the ring mid-finger.
TA-DAAA!!!
XO rings by MXM Jewelry.
From left, Tiffany and Co., MXM Jewelry, James Avery, Street Fair for $5, MXM Jewelry

I've discovered that the key to mid-finger rings is to buy them very small.  Like, very, very small (mine are size 3.5).  And the best place to get rings this small is Etsy!!  Here are a few designers you should check out:
MXM Jewelry, SunParkNYC, Catbird, Michelle Chang

It is also important to note that, while the mid-finger ring is uber stylish, only one knuckle separates mid-finger rings from style-statement and sudden death in the form of loss.  So, when evaluating which ring to rock out on a ledge (meaning, between your first and second kuckles), consider the price tag.  Because they tend to be jumpers...

Images via Refinery29, TheyAllHateUs, HonestlyWTF, Song of Style

Hopefully this post was able to impart some mid-week words of mid-wisdom.  Now go forth and rock some rings on your mid-finger.


And while you're at it, don't forget to ENTER MY GIVEAWAY!  Only two days left, people.  GET ON IT!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Musical Monday: Upside-Down

Brace yourself, shit's about to get weird.
That's right, folks.  Today, I will conquer the up-side-down braid.
Cue music:
This little stunner is exactly what it sounds like: an upside down french braid.
So, to begin, turn your head upside down.
Like so:
Start french-braiding your hair downward from the nape of your neck.

Disclaimer: I do realize that some of you may lack the dexterity that comes with years of sitting around your apartment alone at night, watching Lifetime movies and finding new ways to braid your own hair.  If this is the case, you might want to have a friend or a loved one help you with this...
Carry on, my friend.  You're halfway there!
Keep on truckin' until the braid is about halfway up the back of your head.
Stop braiding right about... now!
Flip your head over like a crazy person, and tie the remainder of your hair into a super high pony.
Make a face that suggests you might be possessed.
Now, tease it!!!  As a former Texas native, I learned at a very young age that no top-knot can a top-knot be without a little bit of BODY.
Finally, top-knot that shiz.  Secure with bobby pins that match your hair color, and try to recreate the light whisp that garnishes my top-knot.  Like an orange rind.  Or perhaps a lemon twist.

I think I like.... bein' upside down...

Questions? Comments? Let me hear 'em!

And while you're contemplating upside-down braiding your own hair, take a moment to ENTER MY GIVEAWAY!  Because if this 'do doesn't work out for ya, you can just throw on a turban-style headband and walk out the door.

Own it.

Happy Monday...