Thursday, May 31, 2012

Wear this Weekend: Fluoro

Do you ever have those moments when you just want to dress like a giant high-lighter?  Like, I'm talking Lisa Frank trapper-keeper, My Little Pony, Paris Hilton, BIC extreme hot pink high-lighter?

Me too.

Actually, these moments happen more often that not, but my innate sense of appropriateness and professionalism kicks in (sometimes) and brings me back down to earth (and pantones more conducive to the work place and normal forms of social interaction).

This moment, however, was not one of those moments.  But this is a moment where I feel it's appropriate to express all of my feelings via popular song lyrics.  So, let's play a little game called "name that lyric."
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Are you "blinded by the light"???
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Neon pink dress: Topshop. Shoes: Zara (another awesome pair here).  Arm party (per usual): c/o Ted Rossi.
"I'm walking on sunshinneeee!!!"
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"The last time I freaked out, I just kept lookin' down!!"
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"I whip my hair back and forth!"
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"Don't turn around!  ('Cause you're gonna see my heart breakiiiiin)"
A note: I am not wearing granny panties, but rather Lululemon booty shorts.  In retrospect, I don't really know which is less sexy...
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"You are the wind between my legs beneath my wings...."

Happy Friday Thursday!

... buzzkill.

Please leave a comment in the form of a song lyric!  Or not.  Whichever.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Scarves, Stripes, and Salacious Reading Material

Dear readers, apologies for missing my weekly Musical Monday post... as it were, I was in Sarasota visiting my dog (my parents happened to be there, too) and had to spend my weekend on a boat, away from all forms of technology...

My personal goal of the weekend was to get rid of my heinous tan lines (I know... I dream big), and I'm sure you'll be interested to know that after 48 hours straight of sunbathing, drinking skinny girl margaritas, and reading 50 Shades of Grey, I turned about 50 shades of red.  My shorts tan of the past few weeks has turned into a shorts burn, and I now feel like my entire back has been whipped in Christian Grey's Red Room of Pain to the point where I might have had to use a safe word... oh my.

Between chapters, though, I did have some time to bond with my dog, Buster, (whom you may remember as playing a supporting role in my "how to tie a turban" tutorial) and experiment with new and different ways to tie a head scarf!

Because, when I'm not heavily imbibing in low-calorie alcoholic beverages or reading trashy awesome novels, this is how I spend my free time.
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Yes, friends.  That is a giant bow on my head.
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Scarf: Zara (like the rest of my life...) Top: Sample Sale (similar). Shorts: Forever 21 (similar). Sunglasses: Oliver Peoples. Shoes: Converse. Swim suit: Splendid (in pink here). Dog: Sorry, not for sale. Bracelets: c/o Ted Rossi, Free People, D&G.
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Buster and I look out to sea.
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Buster goes shopping!
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Buster takes a break by the nearest watering hole.

Note: Buster is quite possibly the worst-behaved dog in all of Sarasota.  It took about three hours to get all of these shots because the talent would not stop harassing other dogs.  

And by talent, I do mean my dog, in case there was confusion...

I hope you all had an excellent holiday weekend!  If you have not done so already, please take a moment to remember our troops and those who sacrifice for us every day.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Wear this Weekend: The Mullet (Redux)

It's no secret that I've been going through somewhat of a turban phase recently.  (And by "recently", I mean for the past few years.)  So after pairing a turban with a sweater, a blazer, and leopard pants, I thought to myself:

Why not pair a turban with a mullet skirt?

... and COWBOY BOOTS?
Skirt: Zara (similar). Boots: Corral Vintage (similar). Straight from Nashville. Top: Topshop (similar). Turban: Zara (similar).  Shades: Oliver Peoples.
So that, my friends, is what I did.
This is the mullet skirt. Redux.
So I put on my mullet skirt and stalked passersby whose food I secretly wanted to eat.
Mmmmm, ice cream...
Still watching the woman with the ice cream...
I call this one, "child rides scooter while I spin in circles."
This one is called: "Caught mid-sentence while surely saying something profound."
Or, alternatively: "Caught mid-sentence while complaining about child on scooter..."
This one is titled: "Laughing or sneezing?"
You decide.
As temperatures are rising, so are hem lengths (but only in the front).  The mullet skirt is happening.
It's happened to me, and it will happen to you.  Wear a mullet skirt this weekend!  Because you're young. And because you can.
AND I'M FLYING!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The 10 Things you Need for Summer

Summer is upon us!   And to prepare for the pending seasonal shift, there are a few things you will need.  Actually, ten.  There are ten things you will need.

1. The maxi dress.
image via FabSugar
Take a cue from Lilo and rock the maxi this summer!  (Make sure to look miserable and pair with a Coca-Cola.)
Try this, this, or this!

2. Tribal shorts.
It's happened.  Tribal, that is.  This is the IT pattern for spring when it comes to covering your nether parts... more power to you if your tribal shorts are also high-waisted.
Try these or these, which I happen to own... and happened to wear here...

3. A mullet skirt.
I am a huge personal fan of the mullet, as demonstrated here.  This "party in the front, business in the back" garment is something you MUST have for the summer season.  And beyond...
Try this one!

4. Distressed denim jacket.
Because if it's not distressed, what good is it?
This one is awesome.

5. Something neon.
It's no secret that I have a neon problem, as seen here and here.  And here...  So shake it up with something bright.  If your accessories have the power to blind, then you, my friend, have won.
Try this bag, these pants, or these shoes!!

6. A cropped top!
Try this one, this one if you're feelin' crazy, or just make your own!

7. Sweet kicks.
Designer sneakers are here for real.  So get on it.
These look remarkably similar, as do these.

8. The perfect head gear.
And by head gear, yes, I do mean a turban.
Try this one, this one, or this one for something a little different.  Or watch as I teach you to tie your own here!!

9. High-waisted swimwear.
Retro is back, ladies.  Cover up your winter pooch with these chips-and-dip friendly mega-trunks!
Try this with this, this, or this!

10. Cat-eye shades.
Another nod to retro, the cateye is so hot right now.  And as you know, I'll take any excuse to look more like an animal...
Try these, these, or my personal favorite (that I happen to own) these.  More options here, as I am seriously a huge fan...

Armed with these ten summer essentials, you will be the brightest, best-dressed retro-chic chick in town.  Now hurry up and shoppy shoppy!

And happy hump day (to those of you who celebrate).

What do you think? Did I miss anything??

Monday, May 21, 2012

Musical Monday: DIY Denim!

I normally don't like to make a habit of taking my fashion cues from celebrities, but in this case, I can't help myself... They just make the light denim jacket look so cool.  

Exhibit A:
Pregnant Nicole Richie rocks the jean jacket with a maxi.
Cameron looks too cool in denim and camel.
Jessica Alba pairs light denim with a casual white T.

You had me at "pregnant Nicole."  It's official: the light denim jacket is a summer staple that I must promptly own.


But rather than invest in a brand new distressed denim jacket, I decided to invest, instead, in a $2.39 bottle of off-brand bleach to dye a dark denim jacket that I already own!


May is the month of DIY, folks.  So let's do it.  Ourselves.  And as is typical of my DIY's, this is one of the easiest DIY's known to mankind.  It is also a personal goal of mine to keep the number of required materials to three items or less (this is a philosophy that I carry over to cooking ingredients, as well.)


To dye your dark denim jacket, you will need three things:
1.  Said jacket.  (Mine is Levi's, thrifted.)
2.  A bottle of off-brand bleach.  Mine is Nice!
3.  Rubber gloves, lest you want to irritate your skin with toxic chemicals.
For you visual learners out there, here it is:
First, fill your bathtub with enough water to be able to submerge your jean jacket.  Add 2-3 cups of bleach and mix well with your gloved hand.  Then, completely submerge your jacket.  Like so.
Next, watch as your jacket magically begins to change color, checking on its progress every 15 minutes.  Like so...
This will take about an hour.  Be sure to periodically move your jacket so it doesn't end up with dark patches.  Also, bleach is quite pungent, so to the best of your ability, try not to breathe...

I also used protective eyewear in the form of some oversized Oliver Peoples sunglasses.
Note that these are optional.
Eventually, your jacket will look like this!!  Rinse out your jacket so that it no longer contains bleach, then wash it with detergent.  If your bathtub turns a dark shade of navy, you have done something right.


Let your jacket air dry.  Then, wear it with pride.

Note: the great thing about this DIY is you can use your excess bleach to de-odorize your toilet!  This is a surefire win-win if I ever saw one.

And since it is Musical Monday, a little theme music for you by White Denim (bahaha get it?):

Friday, May 18, 2012

Wear this Weekend: Just Call me Maxi

The maxi dress is out in full force this Spring to the point where I can't even walk outside without spotting one (or five).  So, as the age-old saying goes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.  And that, my friends, is what I shall do.

BEHOLD!  The maxi dress.
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Dress: Urban Outfitters. Bag: The Cambridge Satchel (similar). Shoes: Converse. Shades: Oliver Peoples.
This dress is perfect for running Sunday errands, a day at the beach, or if you happen to be pregnant.  Which I do not, at this time.
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Wait... can you tell I'm wearing a handbag?  I don't know if it's bright enough...
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I'm sure I was in the middle of making a very intelligent comment when this photo was taken...
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It's just so WINDY!
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Please excuse my absolutely hideous tan lines.  I'm hoping they will subside by the time I turn 30...

Now, you try!

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Shoes: Converse

'Tis the year of the maxi, and we must treat it as such.  When in Rome, as they say!  So go forth this weekend, you trendsetters, you, and wear the maxi to the fullest!  Happy Friday.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Save a Horse, Wear Some Cowboy (Boots)

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As it turns out, cowboy boots are now "a thing."  And since my weekend in Nashville, I've made the executive decision that I will transition from dressing like a rockstar to dressing like a cowgirl.  A very urban, neon-clad cowgirl.   So here, I will divulge my secret to wearing cowboy boots non-ironically in public.
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Jacket: ASOS (similar). T: Rebel Yell (similar). Bandeau: Cosabella. Shorts: Forever21. Bag: The Cambridge Satchel (similar). Boots: Authentic cowgirl kicks straight from the heart of Nashville, made by Corral Vintage (similar).
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In order to wear cowboy boots in public, you must not wear anything else even remotely Western (or equestrian).  Make the outfit as urban as possible to balance the un-urban feel of your boots.
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Yes, my shirt says "MVP."
Because on the team of life, well... you know.
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I'm going to eat you!!!!
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No, REALLY!!!
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Time to bust out your daisy dukes, girls!  Cowboy boots are BACK.
Work it.